it is a confusing cycle of pain

a hurricane and tidal wave flooding heart and mind

just when blue peers from behind the clouds

I see the eye passed over more slowly this time

if another lie trembles from my lips

and if my eyes close in petrifying fear

then dear loved one, who believed in me this once,

this is your fault; these fallen objects are your tears

the haunted thoughts and habitual actions

find me in the dark and damp repeated places

just when I thought I could survive the night without a light

from the open window I smell the horror of the monsters without faces

believe in these words if you believe in me at all

stay away from my hands and heart even if I want to cry

I dream of the feeling you bring to me in the morning

but the dawn never comes, I tried lifting the sun, I tried