Humans of State High

“One thing I think about a lot is like changing my body and stuff, because like being a teenager is really hard and then also having ovaries and tits and having the media show other people with the same anatomy as me as a perfect image. Like, I can’t be that and it’s really stressful and I think about that and then I’m like, ‘no!’ Because I feel like it’s me, and like I get jealous sometimes when I really think deeply about it it’s like, ‘no because this is who I am.’ If I really want to like truly and fully love myself I have to love every single part of myself, and to change it would feel inauthentic and a dishonor to myself and to my journey with like self-love and that kind of thing. I think about that topic a lot really, anything that I would change… I don’t think that I would because I’m pretty content with myself which is a good thing cause I didn’t used to be that way.” (1/2)

“I was a gymnast for like seven or eight years and I grew up in that environment. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that it was very toxic. But at the time that I was trying to leave it felt like I was going to be a nobody. If I didn’t have gymnastics, who was I? It felt like I wasn’t going to be a person at all, I thought I was going to be boring, I thought I wasn’t going to have anything to do. It was so scary believing all this, because it was all that I had really ever known and it felt secure even though it wasn’t healthy for me. So, like when I started beginning to ponder the concept of quitting it became really, really stressful for me and I would look at my leotards hanging up in my closet and I would start crying because it was so scary with the concept of leaving. Then over the summer I just had a really bad experience with it and I was like, ‘I can’t do this anymore,’ and I quit and I have been the happiest that I have ever been since I’ve quit. It’s like—it’s interesting, because I hadn’t realized how much stuff that had happened at the gym was actually harmful to me and the anxiety kind of like started with that and especially now that I’m like seeing other people going to the gym, they hate it and it’s awful. It’s terrible for them and stresses them out. Knowing that I was kind of in that position too and like once I left it was so much better. I want so much better for them because I know it’s a toxic environment to be in.” (2/2)