“What am I most nostalgic for? Honestly, I don’t – I feel like people don’t want to forgive you anymore now that you’re not young. There’s no forgiveness for you. And, you make your mistakes. This is the point in your life where you’re making the most mistakes ever, and you’re trying to learn from them. But, it’s not an easy process and it’s not like you’re going to get the hang of it the first try. And so now, when you most need forgiveness, there’s really none left. And I’m really nostalgic for the era in which my mistakes didn’t really define me. It was all just a part of growing up, and having fun, and living my life, and seeing who I wanted to be in the world. But now, when this is even more necessary, I just don’t have that anymore and it’s really what I need to have.
I was actually thinking about that today. I texted my mom ‘I don’t want to be old anymore. I miss being seven.’ It’s just ‘cause I’m so tired these days. And, I just feel like there’s no forgiveness left.”